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digitalmars.D - My statements related to terminating my SAoC relationship

reply solidstate1991 <laszloszeremi outlook.com> writes:
I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the 
project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain 
reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.

At the same time, my sleep disorder became even worse. I started 
to sleep 10-12 hours a day while spending around 4-6 hours in bed 
just to trying to fall asleep, and since I had to do some 
housekeeping work it cut the planned 8 hours per day work down to 
4-6 at most. I have taped off all the status indicator LEDs on my 
electronics, I asked my brother and father to refrain from loud 
TV watching at night, all for nothing. Caffeine intake don't 
worsen my ability of sleep. I do get tired, but somehow still 
don't feel myself sleepy. Tried to tell my doctors, but they just 
told me to do the stuff I've already done plus to refrain from 
using computers as much as possible and instead look for a job 
that don't require them. However, thanks to I had to use a "desk" 
with no leg room, my spine is all busted now, barely able to 
manage to lift 20kg without screaming in agony.

I try to resume my work on improving mago, but on a much smaller 
scale and lower priority since I have to spend time finding a 
job, which is a very hard thing in this fascist country called 
Hungary, while also not supporting said fascist regime. While the 
state propaganda says there's a big shortage on workforce (to the 
point that supposedly humanitarians are being reeducated for Java 
developers), I also see a lot of people being rejected with bogus 
claims which tells me that there's something fishy, and hearing 
some controversies of political opponents' families suddenly 
losing their jobs says me that they're persecuting their 
political opponents at any means possible.

Losing the funds put me in danger of homelessness, since I 
haven't been able to pay my father for rent and food for years, 
not to mention my PC is on its deathbed with its dried up CPU VRM 
capacitors, and USB and LAN ports fried after a thunderstorm and 
our previous ISP being skeptical with overvoltage protection (we 
got a direct hit into the antenna, which blew up his equipment, 
and fried by router, the LAN port, several USB ports, a cheap 
membrane keyboard, and a Logitech mouse I just have repaired).

I think I'll take a few days of doing other stuff, since my 
sleeping disorder sabotaged my free time too and now I have to 
find a job, (preferably internship) to calm down a bit.
Oct 15 2018
next sibling parent reply Soulsbane <viserion.thrall gmail.com> writes:
On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
 I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the 
 project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain 
 reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.

 [...]
Have you tried melatonin? My doctor has me take a 1mg tablet and split it in two. So I take 1/2 at bedtime. That is the sweet spot. If you take more than that you will end up groggy.
Oct 15 2018
parent reply solidstate1991 <laszloszeremi outlook.com> writes:
On Tuesday, 16 October 2018 at 02:20:09 UTC, Soulsbane wrote:
 Have you tried melatonin? My doctor has me take a 1mg tablet 
 and split it in two. So I take 1/2 at bedtime. That is the 
 sweet spot. If you take more than that you will end up groggy.
No, but I'll since I used to have this issue even as a child, this might help. I'll ask my doctor again, if she doesn't help I'll just buy the ones that can be used without prescriptions. I hope it's not some melatonin insensitivity, that would require some pretty harsh drugs.
Oct 17 2018
parent kinke <kinke libero.it> writes:
On Thursday, 18 October 2018 at 00:28:32 UTC, solidstate1991 
wrote:
 I hope it's not some melatonin insensitivity, that would 
 require some pretty harsh drugs.
Have you given Cannabis a try? You don't have to smoke it, it can be vaporized too for example, and is really easy to grow yourself.
Oct 18 2018
prev sibling next sibling parent Guillaume Piolat <spam smam.org> writes:
On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
 I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the 
 project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain 
 reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.
Hello, Just to say you seem like a nice fella: don't make yourself miserable! Put happiness first, as "inefficient" as it seems. As a developer noone will take care of yourself so you have to do it. The SAoC tasks indeed seem quite ambitious and complicated to me. In a way, you were lucky that such problems happen early in your career!
Oct 16 2018
prev sibling next sibling parent Nemanja Boric <dlang nemanjaboric.com> writes:
On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
 I try to resume my work on improving mago, but on a much 
 smaller scale and lower priority since I have to spend time 
 finding a job, which is a very hard thing in this fascist 
 country called Hungary, while also not supporting said fascist 
 regime. While the state propaganda says there's a big shortage 
 on workforce (to the point that supposedly humanitarians are 
 being reeducated for Java developers), I also see a lot of 
 people being rejected with bogus claims which tells me that 
 there's something fishy, and hearing some controversies of 
 political opponents' families suddenly losing their jobs says 
 me that they're persecuting their political opponents at any 
 means possible.
Hello, I just wanted to say that you could consider finding the job abroad. Given that you're an EU citizen, moving to Germany or Austria (or Czech Republic, or Netherlands, or anywhere inside EU) is possible without any bureaucratic issues, and you should use that opportunity. It may sound scary, but it's actually much easier than you think, and maybe that's just what you need! You may also be able to negotiate moving bonus which should cover the rent & food for a month - until the first paycheck.
Oct 16 2018
prev sibling next sibling parent Abdulhaq <alynch4047 gmail.com> writes:
On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
 I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the 
 project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain 
 reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.
You've done the right thing by facing the situation and addressing it. Forget your coding commitments for now and get yourself sorted out. Hungary certainly has taken a horrible turn for the worst, I hope it does not affect you too badly.
Oct 16 2018
prev sibling next sibling parent welkam <wwwelkam gmail.com> writes:
On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
 my sleep disorder became even worse. I started to sleep 10-12 
 hours a day while spending around 4-6 hours in bed just to 
 trying to fall asleep
And when you wake up do you feel rested and fully awake or does it take time to sober up? Your experience sounds similar to mine and what helped me was fish/krill oil. Omega-3 acts as anti inflammatory agent. Its not a cure but it helps.
Oct 17 2018
prev sibling next sibling parent reply lagfra <me fragal.eu> writes:
On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
 I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the 
 project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain 
 reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.
Hi, I'm one of the other participants to the SAoC project and I'm replying on behalf of me and Francesco, the other SAoC student. We just wanted to tell you not to be too hard on yourself and that we understand the difficult time you're going through. Also, if you want a change of air or a place were you can look for new opportunities, we both are students in Turin (Italy) right now and you're welcome to join us anytime. We hope the best for you.
Oct 17 2018
parent Paolo Invernizzi <paolo.invernizzi gmail.com> writes:
On Wednesday, 17 October 2018 at 20:03:23 UTC, lagfra wrote:
 On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 
 wrote:
 I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the 
 project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain 
 reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.
Hi, I'm one of the other participants to the SAoC project and I'm replying on behalf of me and Francesco, the other SAoC student. We just wanted to tell you not to be too hard on yourself and that we understand the difficult time you're going through. Also, if you want a change of air or a place were you can look for new opportunities, we both are students in Turin (Italy) right now and you're welcome to join us anytime. We hope the best for you.
I agree with lagfra, take your time... BTW, it seems that the Italian D Programmers League is more crowded that expected... /Paolo
Oct 18 2018
prev sibling parent Basile.B <b2.temp gmlx.com> writes:
On Monday, 15 October 2018 at 21:26:52 UTC, solidstate1991 wrote:
 I have done two mistakes: I underestimated the scope of the 
 project and overestimated my capabilities. This caused a chain 
 reaction, which in turn made the first milestone unreachable.

 At the same time, my sleep disorder became even worse. I 
 started to sleep 10-12 hours a day while spending around 4-6 
 hours in bed just to trying to fall asleep, and since I had to 
 do some housekeeping work it cut the planned 8 hours per day 
 work down to 4-6 at most. I have taped off all the status 
 indicator LEDs on my electronics, I asked my brother and father 
 to refrain from loud TV watching at night, all for nothing. 
 Caffeine intake don't worsen my ability of sleep. I do get 
 tired, but somehow still don't feel myself sleepy. Tried to 
 tell my doctors, but they just told me to do the stuff I've 
 already done plus to refrain from using computers as much as 
 possible and instead look for a job that don't require them. 
 However, thanks to I had to use a "desk" with no leg room, my 
 spine is all busted now, barely able to manage to lift 20kg 
 without screaming in agony.

 I try to resume my work on improving mago, but on a much 
 smaller scale and lower priority since I have to spend time 
 finding a job, which is a very hard thing in this fascist 
 country called Hungary, while also not supporting said fascist 
 regime. While the state propaganda says there's a big shortage 
 on workforce (to the point that supposedly humanitarians are 
 being reeducated for Java developers), I also see a lot of 
 people being rejected with bogus claims which tells me that 
 there's something fishy, and hearing some controversies of 
 political opponents' families suddenly losing their jobs says 
 me that they're persecuting their political opponents at any 
 means possible.

 Losing the funds put me in danger of homelessness, since I 
 haven't been able to pay my father for rent and food for years, 
 not to mention my PC is on its deathbed with its dried up CPU 
 VRM capacitors, and USB and LAN ports fried after a 
 thunderstorm and our previous ISP being skeptical with 
 overvoltage protection (we got a direct hit into the antenna, 
 which blew up his equipment, and fried by router, the LAN port, 
 several USB ports, a cheap membrane keyboard, and a Logitech 
 mouse I just have repaired).

 I think I'll take a few days of doing other stuff, since my 
 sleeping disorder sabotaged my free time too and now I have to 
 find a job, (preferably internship) to calm down a bit.
Try to complete some stuff. Even if it's not the main goal. **complete** is the important thing. Best of lucks.
Oct 18 2018